Colin said he could only hear giggling and laughing coming from the nurse’s room and some nights it kept him awake, another patient agreed- he was an ex-Army intelligence officer who also died not long after Colin.  Under his bed was never cleaned and Colin’s oxygen mask was often hanging down onto the dirty floor - his brother asked for a new one on one occasion.  He began to look neglected and we asked if his brothers could bath him and wash his hair and shave him - which they did - his sister Linda cut Colin’s toe nails and massaged his poor feet with aqueous cream - it did seem to make him more comfortable.  We always kept small bottles of water and Lucozade by his bed, but he couldn’t reach them. He couldn’t pour water from the heavy jug into the small plastic cup - he was so thirsty (it was a hot summer) but he didn’t want to be any trouble! His packets of build-up were piling up - we found eight on one visit which had not been mixed and given to him - vital nourishment which was denied him! When the bedside table was removed (pushed away for treatment etc) Colin was unable to reach for anything and again he didn’t bother staff for something he didn’t consider was a medical request.

As Colin was becoming more ill we had requested to speak with a Doctor for the next visit - as four weeks had now passed. We wanted to ask what was happening and what plans they had for Colin’s future. When we arrived that day - 23 June 2003 - the Doctor and a nurse were present, I asked if we should talk in the day room (he was in a 16 bed ward - no isolation) he said that Colin knew what he was going to say. Colin was sat up and I hugged him and sat by his bed holding his hand. The curtain was drawn and Colin’s two brothers, one sister and two friends stood at the foot of the bed. The Doctor sat at the other side of Colin’s bed and held his hand (I thought it odd at the time) - he said that Colin had asked that morning for the good news or the bad news and that Colin had expressed the view that he was dying - asking the Doctor to tell us too.

 
I will never forget our shock and the pain of seeing Colin’s face ... looking at each of us he was sat up in his bed as we tried to hold back our tears whilst the Doctor told us that Colin was dying - that all of his organs were failing and he also had Pneumonia (no mention of MRSA) I asked a nurse if we could be tested to give Colin a kidney, she said that it didn’t work like that.  I told the Doctor we didn’t know there was anything wrong with his kidneys until that moment! He then told us that CPR wouldn’t be given if his heart stopped. And because his liver had packed up the medication Vancomycin, could only eventually go back up around his brain and that would be permanent.  Colin was incredibly brave - thinking only of us - it was later Colin told us about the bed pan incident. He was so bedsore and said sometimes when he requested one, they would just drop it on the bed - it was impossible for him to sit on without help, other times they would be too busy or forget to help him off. I find this so heartbreaking and hard to bear - he would never wish to be a nuisance to anyone!